Journey To A Better Life

I need to love this sick & distorted society & choose what my soul would do. Defeating the negative-programming. "Forgive them, they know not what they do"

Detached from it all and just trying to discern why. DECEMBER 12, 2016 Never served me to dwell in fear, hate, humiliation. I didn't know any better, and that's our natural instincts to do what everyone else is doing. If I could choose the way that I was feeling when I felt like crap, and I was carrying around that lifetime of fear around with me without even realizing it, vs now when I feel nothing, I would still choose now. But if I also had a choice of being passionate and courageous and motivated about something, I'd choose that. I'm hoping that's the next stage. I don't know why I feel like "just the observer, not even the thinker". I've never experienced this cycle before, where I'm just the observer without thinking about it - even though I'm trying for the sake of habit to figure out "why" I don't feel anything. Life is so relaxed, but there are still dramas and hostile energies and the expectations from other people, and the witnessing of the children fighting, but I don't know. Have I taken the "it is what it is" too far? Have I stepped into the "now" too much? It was good advice: Live in the now, not in the past, not in the future, live in the now. Right now, you only have whatever's in front of you to deal with. How can you defuse the hate from dangerous situations? Previously, looking at society as zombies - for not feeling, not caring - that's how I was when I "cared so much!". You're all a bunch of zombies, you don't care, you don't have feelings. Now I am one of those zombies, and it does feel better, but there is that doubt of where it's coming from and why it's here. Have I traumatized so much where I've come to this spot - the safe space? Or have I got over my traumas and that's why I feel this way? I'm just trying to figure it out. Traumatized or healed? Empty, no feelings. Have I turned into a zombie? There is an auto-correction. Anytime that I go to something that would upset me, there is this auto-correction that happens - I could dwell there in that fear, hate, worry, stress, expectation, but as soon as my mind even starts to float there, I auto-correct. Is this ignorant of the reality? I don't know.

Sometimes you can think you'll never get through it, that you'll never be happy or have a good life again. That's when you're holding onto regret or the way you think things are supposed to be. I heard that “our karma is only dished to us if we’re ready to handle it” .I think we either handle it or we don’t handle it. Life is perplexing – we don’t find out if we’ve figured anything out until after we’re no longer able to communicate with anyone. We don't see the full picture. How do we know what's unfolding? The fun-ness of being human is that we come in so completely clueless as to what we're doing here. NOVEMBER 6, 2016

Where You Focus Is Where You Live - DECEMBER 11, 2015 We are the “choosers” of our thoughts. Where You Focus, Is Where You Live - JANUARY 7, 2019 https://pennybutler.com/focused-reality/ You experience reality at your own level of growth and expansion. Fear will block most from stepping outside of an “authority”. Whether it be “cult”ure, society, religion or whatever. Their ‘reputation in the world’ is based on the approval of someone – an authority of some kind – some kind of validation or stamp-of-approval that they are a good person. Pretty much everyone wants to believe they are good, since we’ve grown up with that being drummed-into us, where we focus is determined by our level of how far we’re willing to stretch beyond our ‘reputation in the world’, the risk of being perceived as ‘bad or wrong’, to discover truth or just to explore outside of the limits of our ‘cult’ure.

If you get really upset or are in a mood you really want to shift out of that awful, dreadful feeling, put on your fave music, and go somewhere where you can sing & scream at the top of your lungs, or dance, or run... just keep singing, driving, dancing, or walking until it shifts. APRIL 21, 2017 After work I was so angry, upset, confused, helpless, hurt... and put on some music and started belting it out - screaming and yelling to the music, until I was rapping and smiling and had definitely lifted a few levels up out of the darkness. #Be like Tommy Franklin - Dance your heart out: https://youtu.be/RJFt5YwAFZ8?t=176

What hope do you have to discovering truth if you only seek to validate what you have already decided is truth? How do I help others think for themselves – when I notice that I also have the same human flaw? How do we free our minds from the matrix? NOVEMBER 7, 2016 https://linktr.ee/JustWantFreedom

Once you start being true to yourself, it doesn't matter the amount of likes and comments you get anymore, it just becomes more of a "you need to get your truth out there, you need to get THE truth out there, you need to help people".

Story when I first turned off my heart towards humanity because "they thought I loved them romantically". After my awakening, it came back online. But then we still struggle with this social conditioning of people getting the wrong idea. NOVEMBER 28, 2015 https://linktr.ee/JustWantFreedom

DECEMBER 14, 2016 Supplements I’m Using To Boost Immunity https://pennybutler.com/immune-boosting-supplements/

MAY 16, 2015 https://linktr.ee/JustWantFreedom

Sleep when Tired, wake when No longer tired. Seems logical to me? https://linktr.ee/JustWantFreedom

Create The World You Want We're living someone else's creation right now and we're helping them create 'their' dream. We're helping create this world the way that it is - by participating in their dream, by participating in their creation, by creating it the same as its always been. By not doing anything different we're creating this world the way that it is. What you don't like about the world, you're part of it man. You are part of creating it the way that it is. If you don't like all the hate in the world, you've got to stop hating. You've got to stop bringing hate into this creation. If you don't like all the shit that's happening to people, if you don't like the way things are, you've got to start living true to who you really are. The way that we were when we were growing up, the way that we thought that we should be, the full loving beings that we are, where we love freely and we care about people, and we love doing the things that we love - we are creating this suffering, diseases, and this slavery by participating in it. We are part of this system, and we can change the system. We've got to stop creating these globalists dream when it hurts so many people all across the globe. We have a way to make this planet liveable and blissful, by being happier and that means doing the things that you want to do, and not thinking so limited - removing all those limited beliefs, negative energies, and trapped emotions. The way to change the world is to create our own realities. Since I healed myself through believing that I could, and that was just the starting point of what I can do now. I'm just starting to realize just how powerful we are. What we can do in this human form while we are here. We are experiencing this human experience to do all the things that's possible in this human form, but we place so many goddamn extra challenges and limitations on us that don't even need to be there. They've been placed in us all our lives, from before birth in some cases, the feeling of "not being welcome here" and "not being loved", and not having your loved returned, and not caring about people - that's become the new normal, and we need to make a "new" normal. A new world, and not a "New World Order", fuck that. Not a new world order, we're not going to create their dream for them. We've going to create our own realities, we're going to create our own dreams. SEPTEMBER 25, 2015 https://linktr.ee/JustWantFreedom

I am better than the person I used to be, but if I were honest with myself, if I were standing naked in front of the mirror, I'm not completely healthy - there is so much more that I could be doing to increase my health, to be a healthy vital person, to live with more energy and excitement and clarity. DECEMBER 31, 2015 https://linktr.ee/JustWantFreedom

More than anything I want freedom. This is why I'm attracted to this lifestyle. It's why I'm downsizing to a van, instead of saving up for a 30 year mortgage loan so that I can stay a slave for the rest of my life. I am not supposed to be alive right now - I'm alive, and I've got things that I want to do since I've been given this second chance to live. I don't want to live the way that "they" told us to live. I'm not going to live that way anymore. That way nearly killed me, it was miserable, and it's no way to live. And I know that everyone else lives that way - I don't care how everybody else is living. I'm inspired by the people who don't live that way - who have found a way around the system, who do not need to work in a job that they hate, who do not need to give up their time, to things that they hate. We should be enjoying our life, while we're here, we're not here for that long. I'm mad. We're not here for that long. When you wake up everyday doing something that you don't like for most of the day, and the only thing you have time for is to collapse at the end of the day, make some dinner, look after other people who are doing the same thing. There's no "LIVING" involved in that. We're doing this year after year, decade after decade, living a life we don't want and critizing - I hear people critizing people who don't want to work, and I'm like that's because you're completely brainwashed into this complete scam of a life! Because this all happens because people own the land - the bankers. It is all a fucking conspiracy, and I want out. I don't like being scammed and I don't like being a slave, and I want as much as possible to at least live the final chapter of my life, living in truth and doing the things that I want to do - and it's not even that much, I just want to help people. It's not even like I want to be selfish for the rest of my life, I actually wanna do MORE for the rest of my life, but this job stops me from doing that! Having to go into a job that's so far away because I can't find one close by is so ridiculous - this is a ridiculous way to live. Rant, rant, rant. AUGUST 1, 2015

I realized the world was corrupt when I got rid of the pharmaceuticals in my life and I'd never been healthier. I'd spent my entire life in and out of hospital. I spent my high school years taking an oxygen tank to school and then I got sicker and sicker and sicker. No-one in the medical industry ever asked about my life. Never. They never saw inside my house, they never saw how toxic my lifestyle was. We're going to a doctor to get a pill to be able to continue a toxic lifestyle. I gave up on the pharmaceutical industries when I started bleeding out of everywhere, from the drug that I was supposed to be on for the rest of my life for emphysema. I lost my voice, I was starting a new job, I was not in a good mental place, and I was bleeding out of my nose and out of my bum, and I couldn't stop coughing. That would seemingly be a symptom of emphysema. Except it was a symptom of the drug! And anyone who has got emphysema or who is watching a patient with emphysema, would be thinking "oh, it's just the emphysema". It was the fucking drug that was doing it. So getting off pharmaceuticals and healing myself was the confirmation: "something's not right, something is very corrupt about the medical industry, the pharmaceutical industry, and what they're doing, and why I don't do vaccines anymore - I don't trust them!" Give me some reason to trust them - I don't. I actually trust that the doctors who spent all that money - a lot of money learning, think that they've been taught everything that they need to know about treating patients. I don't think the doctors are deliberately corrupt - their information is corrupt. And their information is funded by the pharmaceutical industries. Because of that, my brain wanted to know "what else was corrupt?" Why is the government bombing other countries - why are we calling THEM (the other countries) terrorists... when we're the ones attacking them? We're the terrorists! There's so much about this world that I think, once you unlock something, you unlock the possibilities of anything being possible - that the education system - everything that we've been taught is there to keep us as a slave, to keep us where they want us, to keep us under control. There is good parts of it and there's the corrupt part of it. Once you unlock that part of your mind and you no longer have trust in education, government, pharmaceuticals, yada, yada, yada, you are trusting the "conspiracy theorists" - which is just as dangerous - because not all the conspiracy theorists can be trusted either! Most of them can't be trusted! They're all just as.. angry.. I guess.. as I was that I didn't get a healthy life until I was 39 years old after being diagnosed with all these things and watching them all disappear, after a lifetime of illness. It's not just health conspiracies, which I'm already convinced of. There's more going on and as much as I want to be like everybody else and go y'know what... it is just what it is .. the governments will be governments .. pharmaceuticals will be pharmaceuticals .. just having an awareness of it and just go on with my life.. I can't help un-turning rocks. I think there's way more than we get told. DECEMBER 31, 2015 https://linktr.ee/JustWantFreedom

The conspiracy is making people feel crazy so that they can't talk about it - that's the conspiracy right there. https://linktr.ee/JustWantFreedom

What would my soul do? What would my higher-self do? Are we 100% responsible for what we experience or just how we interpret the experiences? What is in alignment to my soul? Looking at it from a soul’s journey, a higher-self and beyond perspective. The answer is always love. Not living in fear. It’s a difficult – the most difficult choice to make in this sick, distorted society. It’s the hardest thing to do – to be above the “wrong’s” and choose what your soul would do. The easy path is to be angry. The hard path is to forgive, but will be lighter for my soul. APRIL 11, 2016 https://linktr.ee/JustWantFreedom

A belief that "I'm right" When you believe that you're right and you're stubborn about it, and you want to control the situation that you have no control over, and you still insist on trying to control it. That's stress. Pretty much you can't solve anything from a fearful, stressful state. I wouldn't say "anything" but my problems, are not going to be solved by staying in a stressful state. When you focus on what you hate, then you start noticing it everywhere, and it magnifies all the problems. Like, I'm driving down the road, and I'm looking at the speed limit, and I'm angry with someone, somewhere - some kind of 'money that could be taken from me", or the government, or the way that the system works. I'm driving into the staff carpark, and I'm angry that I can't park anywhere without getting a fine. You walk into walk, and you're feeling like crap and other people might be happy but you don't even notice it or other people might need your compassion - which is something I noticed yesterday, is that I was "irritated" with people, and that's not me. Everything was "yuck", and I don't like that I was like that, and I know that it was all because I was in my own head, in my own woes/stress, and that attracts other woes/stress, so you start finding problems with everything because you're in a bad state. If I get in a more positive state, I'll start seeing solutions everywhere. You attract more of where you're at. If you're feeling like crap, you attract other people who are feeling like crap. When you're feeling good, you attract other people who are feeling good and also you have compassion and you can share your positive energy with those who aren't feeling so good. If there was more positive people around, I would step up my game. At work, it is quite a low vibration - we try, but generally, we need more people who are lifting the spirits of people - especially around Christmas when there's a lot of stress because of materialistic bullshit, but they all have money-issues around Christmas because they all feel obligated to buy, buy, buy and spend money on family and friends. And generally because of the way we're living, rent, utilities, and $800 registration and $700 insurance and roadside assistance, all our daily things are so expensive, there's a lot of stressful, agitated vibes as they try and keep up with each other, and still think that buying presents for people is going to prove their love to them. They could say, let's not do presents this year or just buy for the kids. 2 presents instead of 20, 30, 40. Stress doesn't solve anything, this frame of mind, when I feel icky in my stomach. "I don't want to be here, I'm going to be stuck here forever, got no solutions" etc. That's just going to keep me in that same space, and I need to get out of it. DECEMBER 6, 2015 https://linktr.ee/JustWantFreedom

Our default-programming - 90% of conditioned-beliefs that we run on auto-pilot whenever we're angry or hurt or anxious or living in fear. When you're conscious and aware and thinking about what you're saying and thinking about what's serving your life and what your beliefs are - that's who you are, that's who you want to be, and it serves you. But when you're out of awareness, when someone catches you off-guard - they attack you or something like that and you're no longer in that place of awareness, you default back to your automatic programming. That's when you say the things you don't mean to say, that you can't believe you said, that's when you hear your parents come out your mouth. It's when you say something nasty or default back to all your conditioned beliefs that you had growing up. It's not you. I want to know what is still on auto-pilot for me. What conditioned beliefs that I haven't worked on, that may still be running my life, because everytime you have a thought, all these neurons are fired, and some of them are your current beliefs, some are your auto-pilot "good habits" that you've implanted in there, and some of them are from when you were three years old, that experience you had yesterday, that fight you had ten years ago, all these different things are still in there. They're your memories, they make up part of who you are, so you have a thought, and all these little neurons are fired, and some of them are serving you, and some of them are just absolute conditioning - rubbish. Or, they served you at the time, when you were going through a certain thing, but they no longer serve you, or who you want to be. You don't want to be that person that has that automatic response. MAY 6, 2015 https://linktr.ee/JustWantFreedom

What one person's fear is, and another person's fear is, are completely different, but the feeling is still just as powerful. When I used to try and make myself feel better, I would go "at least I've got a roof over my head", like there is value in finding gratitude for what you have, but there is also wisdom in not judging people for where they're at and what 'they' deem as fearful in their life, because that's there unique 'demons' that are working on them - their unique things that are coming up that they haven't worked on. It's still just as scary for them to go through something that 'we' would deem much smaller because we've already worked on that fear, or we've never had that fear, because our journey is different. So there's wisdom in just acknowledging that everyone's going through different things, but they are still feeling the same depths of pain, as they're working through it, because there is these demons in them that they have to transmute - their unique fears are being - their buttons are being pushed. The wounds are being shown. These are "here, here, here": Here are your wounds. It's just life showing you what you need to transmute, it's life showing you what is there that doesn't belong in this new world that we're creating. This new thing that I think we're already in. I don't think there's an "end thing" but wherever we're at is just totally not the same place as where we were at a year ago. Things are just evolving so fast, and I know that everyone's just having a completely different unique experience as they go through it but it is all the same thing - even if we interpret it in different ways, or have a different idea about "what it is". 28 Jul 2016 You Can’t Go Into Any Of This With Baggage https://pennybutler.com/deal-with-own-baggage/

Dark Agenda Is Empowering Us To Liberation I look at what I'm annoyed at in the world, but you know what, it is actually doing it's job of waking up the world to being forced to seeing what's really going on. To facing their enslavement. And then once you know you're a slave, you can do something about it, or you might be empowered to do something about it. I'm empowered to do something about it, even from my poor little place, but it would be great to see more people, who are empowered to do something about it, so we all benefit. MAY 11, 2016 https://linktr.ee/JustWantFreedom

One of my first videos JANUARY 1, 2016 https://linktr.ee/JustWantFreedom

How I'm removing a lot of fear. (Nov 2016) Noticed that the reason why people don't talk about "the things we're not supposed to talk about" is because they've been brainwashed, conditioned, and manipulated their entire lives to conform to what mainstream thinks. So they can't talk anything aloud - they actually feel guilty (there's something that happens within them), when they talk outside of mainstream. I'm just planting little seeds and making it more common to have these kinds of conversations and it's really cool actually, because when you can talk about it like a normal person (and I know I'm not normal), but when you can talk about it over a coffee, it's less scary for people, so they're not living in the fear of the unknown, they're allowed to have these kinds of conversations and have their little opinion, and as they have their opinion about it, it actually expands and broadens their perspective to "more". I watched something else the other day which reminded me of how the education system has made us into "good citizens" - which is fine, it's just that it doesn't teach you how to think for yourself, it's basically teaching a particular way of living "under the guise of living in harmony with people", however: Never Question Authority. And that may of been good at one stage, when authorities was actually on your side, but now, these days, authorities can be corrupt and noone questions them because they've been entrained already - already conditioned to "not question". So we get all these new laws that make no sense at all, and we don't question it because we want to be good. We're told that it's "bad" to question it, and now we're like "Oh fuck, we've made ourselves into slaves"... and 'that's how I see it'. We're just going to keep building our own prison and things are going to get a little bit worse so we've got to look for solutions, ok: Make people think about things a little bit more so they can get their own brain back. First it's like an automatic thing. I remember the first time I saw "Pro-Marijuana" posts on Facebook, I was like - straight away, my "conformity", my programming, my brainwashing was like "Scoff - Bad People" - I was so conditioned that it was bad. When I realized "oh, wait, this is an "auto-response". Where did this "auto-response" come from? It wasn't from me, it was from wanting to fit into society. "Society would be more ok with me condemning marijuana", now that we can see that it's doing a lot for people's health, cancers, great for building materials, etc. there's a lot of reasons why it could be banned 'other than' what we originally thought that it was being banned for. I've opened up my mind, but it takes time to expand your mind when you start questioning. My mind is broadened, expanded, changed. As I've been freeing myself to actually have the normal conversations about it. NOVEMBER 3, 2016 Website: https://linktr.ee/JustWantFreedom