alcoholism, talking to God, piano punk+more

on the way home from church...
started randomly playing music to accompany my sets
i really hate musical comedy so it's ironic that i'd choose sumin i don't even like
this world is totally outta touch with their own spirit and the spiritual realm in general
so strong a spirit alcoholism nearly killed it
had to drink an entire fifth to reconcile what God gave me to deal with
still bitter bout their stuff, i'll totally admit it
i know i'm not even close to perfect but i hope i try harder than i used to back in the day
piano playing kinda sucks tho
guess my "comedy" is on point
it's not as good as i want it to be but that just motivates me so it's okay
i do this cos it makes sense
personal as any good "art" should be
if it's personal it will be terrible at some point guaranteed
i wish i had never started sometimes, it's so embarrassing
to know so many things and feel so stupid
to keep goin right back to what i said i escaped from
that's why i do what i do...not just becuz of the thank you but it's nice to help others, that's the point
the sheep can't handle how i present myself or what comes foaming outta my mouth (both probably)
there's not one single part of me that's fake (kaleidoscope brain)
i just get thru the day, no method or nothin
i love how i just stopped there
i noticed that that rhymed, i just chose not to say anything
weed shouldn't be a struggle
it's not the thing that's the problem, it's YOU in relation to that thing
go fuck yourself ambulance
i hate emergency vehicles, so pompous
i forgot the chord i was playin, gonna move on anyway
so many got an attitude about shit that they no longer do
plenty of vodka drinkers don't drink the whole fifth
i'm sari, i just tread on him cos of my bad driving
i already have a problem driving and it's dark n raining
most accidents occur right up the st, i remind the man in my head
the two cars i totalled were right up the street from where i was staying
always intermittently talking about cold brew
now back to regular ass brew haha, nice unexpected segway
I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean.” Romans 14:14
the bag of pot didn't miraculously show up @ my house (again)
it might lessen but it won't stop
SOME trouble, get it transgressive
yours truly is baddie4shoes
did my hardest, heaviest, and most fun drinking under 21
if you really wanna enjoy alcohol do it when you're not supposed to do it (that's not just about the youth that could also mean being drunk in random places)
stay in yer lane, damnit, i just got honked at for what i'm yelling about haha
RIP fiona, red chevy aveo covered in God msgs, so sad and still not over it (at least i'm not always crying about it)
i don't think things should be illegal all due to society's propensity to abuse things cos they do it w/ everything
the more "free" they are the more they self-destruct
they're not conscious of true freedom
going to walmart and choosing your fast food supper and shit career
restaurant workers are just scum
people in service aren't miserable all cos of people and capitalist system or whatever this shit is
i guess that's true of everything, you can't choose where you're planted
i hate this era so fucking much, still ahve a flip phone
arlo is the prettiest tranny cat
he can't cook me anything but still won't stop whining
this is what we do cos we're free
driving around and making mistakes supposedly
i don't think it's a mistake
playing piano isn't logical when you're driving (they tell me)
i just do it cos it's fun at least it's not destructive
stuff i do or don't do...
is anyone else this conscious, i doubt itx3
everything is a fucking lie and everyone is such a tool
ya can't have a say if you're not aware
there are so many ways to control everything and it's super easy to do with a society not conscious of its' creation and esp its' Creator
i can't stand people that just run away from their problems (typically on anti depressants)
i'm an american, more free than anyone pretends, i live w/in the world i create over here cos i recognize it's a gift from God
i do whatever i can to avoid what they tell me to do, not pay attention to the distractions from big picture
celeb gossip, political bs, "world events" hahahahaha
remember when the "berlin wall" supposedly fell down,4 yrs old
schizophrenia timeline hahaha
medicine=poision, 6yrs old
news media is fake, 8yrs old
so many things apparent to me cos God was always right in front of me
nobody ever told me to pray, i just did it...oh man church people tend to be intimidated or in awe, i understand
i dunno what i say i just say it
God is the original therapist
if i don't say it i feel like i'm lying to Him, He knows what i'm thinkin always
He's gotta be bored with all these candy asses afraid to tell Him off
oh my goodness this is so bad, i'm sari
i hope i'm not that formulaic or predictable
obviously not running far enough from what i hate
rebelling against myself perhaps...good that i question it
thank you Lord that i'm better than most
material shit to be thankful for...
health and shit, that's even better haha
yelling is a daily part of my routine
everything is so annoying, quietly annoyed like all the time
what chu said. you know that's right. mmmhhhmmm. that part. yes, we are the ebonical over here
everybody is either black or "black" where i work
i appreciate the say it to yer face race
white people are so skittish, i ain't afraid of anyone
smorgasbord of stuff i didn't say tho
they post whatever they think, so dangerous on so many levels
i hate all the system bullshit, but society wants it that way apparently
damaging to your soul to spew online or at people (lashing out)
people don't understand the context of iconography (it figures they'd do this w/ language too)
all cos your little pea brain doesn't understand it so it must be wrong
forget all about personal responsibility
someone looking into the truth would continue to ask questions
i always wanna know the why and the how
how i really feel about human beings hahaha
i don't behave like a misogynist
i treat women w/ respect but i wanna throw peanuts at em
Saint Simeon, the Holy Fool
of course my priest chose Saint Mary of egypt who was formerly a whore (spent the remainder of her life in the desert repenting)