Numinous Nomad

A relatively concise telling of how the "Re-Discovering Peace" presentation came to be ...

Starting things off by explaining what the presentation is NOT -- and setting the stage for what it IS ...

Before going into the depths of "Re-Discovering Peace" in subsequent videos, I thought it would be kind to start off by condensing the entire presentation into one simple sentence ...

Essentially the CORE of the entire presentation -- this video provides a symbolic look into the life-flow of every human being, and what it means to Be Human(e) ...

A potentially important expose of what probably/possibly happens during our final few moments of life, and what we can do beforehand to make that transition filled with feelings of Gratitude & Peace instead of regret & suffering ...

An illuminating discussion of many of the ego-inspired pitfalls ("false truths") that keep the majority of humans from attaining their true potential or experiencing true Peace ...

An explanation of the diagram that started it all (and the self/Self dynamic that explains even more) ...

Examining in greater depth the moment-to-moment internal interplay between ego & True Self, between sin & Virtue, between fear & Love, and between primitive desire & enlightened conscience ...

An in-depth look into an alternative way you can both view & approach "synchronicity" -- the ever-present & innately Meaning-full interplay between yourself and your immediate environment ...

A reminder that you can not only consciously alter the quality of your life, but also expand the Power of your Living ...

A symbolic explanation of the fundamental psychology & biophysiology related to WHY it is counterproductive to reject or ignore or defend against our enemies, and HOW it is indeed fully effective to do exactly the opposite ...

Concluding the RDP video series by re-Minding us all how simple it is to re-Member PEACE & thereby re-enLiven MEANING ... ;)

A bit of background information to this video series -- the hows (& possibly the whys) related to Todd's life and his death ...

It made sense for Kealakekua Bay to be the site for our first Todd-Tribute. For starters, Todd really loved this place. I know he came here several times over the years to swim in the surf and, on occasion, to play with the pod of dolphins who live nearby. It also happens to be the place where Todd and I had spent one of our finest mornings together -- hanging out on the beach and swimming in the Bay. When we first considered these memorials, I thought Todd would be more appreciative of something "fluid" & "spontaneous" & symbolic than something pre-planned or ritualistic or scripted. As such, I had at first dismissed the idea of videotaping them at all ... And yet, as we all understand to one degree or another -- "Make plans; God laughs." Even though we had originally intended to avoid filming these memorials, it quickly became apparent that it was better that we do so. After having placed the first portion of his ashes on a stone near the surfline, Vanessa & I were quietly and reverently standing there, watching the waves and gazing at his ashes, when the ocean started doing some amazingly odd things. It was later that I learned that the "dance" we then began witnessing is apparently called "wave confusion", and yet at the time, I simply knew it was phenomenally beautiful. As you can tell in the video, this particular beach is sharply sloped towards the surf, meaning that the waves that come in crash upon the rocky shore and then return quite swiftly back to the sea. As it turns out, just a few minutes after spreading Todd's ashes there, the outgoing waves started returning at exactly the same frequency as the next waves were arriving, which had them both gently meeting each other at exactly the same tempo and exactly the same magnitude just a few meters offshore. And whenever they did so, the two waves "rose up" into one another, undulating skyward until reaching a height where "further upwards" was no longer possible, before then "passing through" one another and going their separate ways. It was at this point that we decided to start filming, and while the original grandeur of that first "wave confusion" never returned, this footage is quite Beauty-full nonetheless. I found it especially intriguing that Todd's ashes had been placed right at the border between the crashing surf and the dry stones; how the waves repeatedly flowed right up to them without ever fully washing them away. Peace ... S

Just down the road from Kealakekua Bay is Pu'uhonua O Honaunau, (otherwise known as The Place of Refuge) -- one of the more sacred sites on the Big Island, and the site for our second tribute to Todd. Hundreds of years ago, indigenous Hawaiians who violated one or more of their culture's sacred laws (or Kapu) were sentenced to death, and that sentence was invariably carried out -- unless they could make it to one of the island's "Places of Refuge" (or Pu'uhonua) beforehand. There, the offender would be absolved by a Hawaiian priest and allowed to reenter society thereafter. Defeated warriors and noncombatants were also safe from harm at these locations during times of battle. During the last years of Todd's life, he was often a "troubled Soul" who offended (mostly unintentionally) quite a few folks. He was also a warrior of sorts -- especially when it came to defending the sanctity of the Earth. As such, it seemed more than fitting that a portion of his ashes would be laid to rest here, one of the more powerful Hawaiian sanctuaries of atonement and forgiveness. Peace ... S P.S. The flowers near Todd's ashes in the video are plumeria blossoms; a spiritually serendipitous choice, as we later learned that some Hawaiians consider them to be the appropriate flower-of-choice for funerals.

Our third memorial to Todd was to take place at the Green Sands Beach, a remote oasis of amazing Beauty that could only be accessed via a 2.5 mile hike along the Big Island's dry and desolate southern coast. The day we walked in was an unusually windy one, as this short video attests. Peace ... S "Pain is a pesky part of being human ... But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, the tenderness, and the freedom of healing. Pain feels like a stab wound to the heart, but then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings to fly ... We may not have wings growing from our backs, and yet healing gives us that wind against our faces." ~ C. Joybell C.

Possibly due to its half-caldera shape, Papkolea (otherwise known as Green Sands Beach) is normally a place of gentler waters and calmer winds. Interestingly enough, this was not at all the case on the day we brought Todd back. Peace ... S "Waves are the voices of tides, and tides are life ... They bring new food for shore creatures, and they take ships out to sea. They are the ocean's pulse, and our own heartbeat." ~ Tamora Pierce

The Green Sands Beach (actually named Papakolea) is quite the remarkable location. One of only four green sand beaches in the world, it gets its unique color from the semi-precious mineral peridot (or olivine) of which most of its sand is comprised. Back in early spring of 2008, when we were living together on the Big Island, Todd and I took an early-morning trip to this beach -- a Peace-full adventure I remember quite fondly. We were the only two people there that morning, and we both took off all our clothes and sunbathed for awhile on the soft green sand. As he was wont to do, Todd took a dip in the then-gentle surf, and we both enjoyed exploring the crumbling cliffs from which the green sand is steadily "mined" by the wind and the waves. As mentioned in the description of Video 03 (and as is quite evident in this video as well), it was an eceptionally windy that day. It's not clearly evident in the footage, but the half-caldera that borders this beach is quite steep (a 45 degree slope; sometimes even steeper). Knowing this makes the "dancing bottle" seen at 0:35 pretty remarkable. Indeed, at the time this video began, I had already been watching that very bottle float up and down the sleep slope for over ten minutes. It really wanted to give in to gravity's wishes, and yet the wind simply wouldn't let it fall -- and so for almost a quarter of an hour, it let go, and danced. I like to think Todd found a similar solace in his final moments. Peace ... S P.S. As it so happens, at 2:10 of the video I am seen looking at the exact spot where Todd had been climbing the day we went there together. Because the cliffs are extremely brittle and therefore quite slippery, it was as high as he could go, and even though he clearly wanted to climb higher, he "accepted his fate" that day and returned to the beach, sliding down the slope much the same way his ashes tumble-slid back towards the ocean.

The next-to-last Tribute took place at a beach where Todd apparently lived off & on in 2003 & 2004. These days, Ho'okena Beach is part public beach, part tourist campground, and yet back in the early 2000's it was the location of a small "tent city" of home-free people. There are also caves set into the cliffs overlooking the beach where other folks (possibly Todd) were rumored to have lived at that time. I never came here with Todd, and yet the very first hitchhiker we picked up on our Tribute-Tour had actually known Todd and had spent time with him and some mutual friends on this very beach, so it seemed fitting that part of his ashes be paced here as well. When we arrived, the place was filled with tourists and beach-goers, and there seemed to be no suitable spot where our memorial could take place. Undaunted, Vanessa clambered over the first few boulders that form the beach's southern border and almost immediately discovered the perfect "altar" for our "ceremony". I found it especially fitting that our tribute could feel so private and so Peace-full even while children played in the surf just a few yards away ... I think Todd would have liked that. Peace ... S P.S. This video is also a bit longer (12 minutes in all), and yet -- similar to the footage from the very first memorial at Kealakekua Bay -- there is something serenely meditative about calmly watching the waves gently take Todd's ashes back to the ocean bit by bit by bit ... Also worth witnessing is the "surprise guest" who shows up at the 8:45 mark of the video, seemingly to greet Todd and welcome him Home.

I'm not going to say that "we saved the best for last", and yet the final memorial we held for Todd ( at Kua Bay) was indeed my personal favorite. Maybe it was because we knew that we had honored him over the course of the previous four days in ways that he would have liked; maybe it was because of the pristine Beauty of our final Tribute's setting -- with its miniature "lava arch" openly embracing each incoming wave, and its chartreuse seaweed glowing warmly in the light of the slowly setting sun; and maybe it was because we had previously learned from mutual friends that Todd had lived happily here during his final Big Island visit in 2010 ... Either way, it was a very special evening commemorating the life & passing of a very special man ... May he ever rest in Celestial Calm, nestled snugly in the center of everything that surrounds us. Peace ... S

The first in a series of recordings I was blessed to make of Fred Lansford reading his original poetry back in the Summer of 2012 ... May you listen deeply, enjoy Fred's gentle sharing of Truth -- and know Peace thereby.

Fred Lansford reading his poem "An Apple Bright Day" ... recorded in his home on a fine summer day back in 2012.

Fred Lansford reading his poem "These Things" ... recorded in his home on a fine summer day back in 2012.

Fred Lansford reading his poem "A Cosmic Friend" ... recorded in his home on a fine summer day back in 2012.

Fred Lansford reading his poem "Questions" ... recorded in his home on a fine summer day back in 2012.